Listen
Twitter is a listening tool to tap into the streams of thoughts of people all over the world. A remarkable opportunity to listen in on conversations from interesting people in real time.
“I would prefer the emphasis to be on one side of the communication process: listening.”
Said Tom Peters on the fact that EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION is listed by far the most sought after soft skill in job postings on Linkedin.
92% of hiring professionals tell us that soft skills are just as important as hard skills, communication was by far more frequently than other soft skills such as empathy, conflict resolution, adaptability, and dependability.
And listening is not a passive sport.
Aggressive listening, says FieU.S. Navy Captain Mike Abrashoff
Fierce listening, says Susan Scott.
Validated listening with THE INTENTION to understand (use follow up questions), says Mike Simmons.
Turning the spotlight on the other, says Leil Lowndes.
Radical listening, critical listening, the list of concepts goes on.
It does not really matter as much what word we use to describe the way we listen, rather to remind ourselves the emphasis on the receiving end and incoming part of effective communication. Recruit people who are remarkable listeners, not just effective communicators. Because all the things you want to achieve (sending a message, pass on information, spread news and ideas, build relationships, influence people, solve conflicts) can just as well start out at the receiving end as at the sending one.
‘When we begin to ‘hear attentively’, we are said to be ‘listening.’ The concepts of “hearing” and listening … should always be carefully distinguished. (Crystal, 145) Includes receiving (taking in information by seeing and hearing), attending (devoting attention to received information), understanding, and responding (listener communicates their attention and understanding—for example, by nodding or murmuring agreement). (McCornack, 152-156).
And listening is a complex process that consists of
being mindful
hearing
selecting information
organizing information
interpreting communication
responding
remembering
(Wood, 331)
The active process of making meaning out of another person’s spoken message.
(Floyd, G4)
And if listening is an active process, we need to remind ourselves in what way our brain can hijack our attention. One of the personal barriers to good listening is being able to process 400-800 words per minute, while people speak at a rate of 125-175.
This difference between speech and thought rate gives us our brain a lot of time to focus on competing thoughts that can take us away from listening - and challenge our ability to concentrate on the others message.
I remind myself to quiet the mind.
To cease to consider what or how I will reply.
To go beyond the sounds and the words, to observe body language and expressions, to discover with eyes and intution to better relate to the person speaking.